At our condo, we have an infestation. Ants? Nope. Roaches? No way.
What could be worse than that, you ask?
Ducks. We have the ducks.
It wasn’t always this way. It started out as the cutest infestation ever. We moved into our new home a little over two years ago and, though there were quite a few of them milling about the place, it wasn’t out of hand. They stuck to the small waterway that ran outside our back patio. We could sit outside and watch the wildlife but rarely ran into them in our day to day activities outside.
All that soon changed. Someone must have turned on some Marvin Gaye as these ducks started getting busy and their numbers began to increase exponentially.
Again, it started out cute. Ducks are tricky little bastards. All of a sudden, baby ducks roamed around the premises that I could ooh and aah at for days. The mommy and daddy ducks didn’t seem to mind so long as I kept a safe distance and made sure the dogs didn’t eat them. I should have known it wouldn’t last. The baby ducks would soon grow and grow. And then the cycle would start over.
Herein lies the problem.
As the duck population grew, so did their need for more space. The ducks slowly began meandering into the human populace. They now waddle around the parking lot at their leisurely pace and make nests under my stairs where they quack and quack if I get too close to their precious babies. They continue to get busy at all hours of the night, making noises that even Meg Ryan couldn’t recreate. They poop everywhere.
I’ve never contemplated taking a life before … until now.
I keep waiting on them to migrate elsewhere. Aren’t birds supposed to do that? But they don’t. They stay, make a lot of love, and reproduce. Repeat for eternity.
Our HOA sent out correspondence asking us not to feed the ducks. They’re a ‘nuisance,’ the letter said. But it’s too late. They’ve already taken over. They’re in control and they know it. I always thought it would be zombies but I was wrong. Ducks will be the end of it all. Well, maybe not for you. There’s still time for you to stop it from happening to your home. But my poor little condo complex? We’re doomed.
Yesterday, some geese arrived and made themselves at home. The infestation has mutated.
The end is near…
Awesomeness Awaits at Yeah Write!