A nickel. A dime. A quarter, if I’m lucky.
The words fade; the ink is dry.
I shake the cup between my feet.
My arms shadow my ribs against the cold.
I nod in thanks. It’s all I have.
Category: microprose, yeah write
I confess I was drawn in by the picture — what a powerful image. Your poem did it justice.
Have to agree with Helena. Powerful stuff. Though why did you remove the picture from the actual post?
Thanks Sean! It’s just the featured image. You can see it from my home page 🙂
Oh I like it: a panhandler’s sign. And I love the photo to go with it!
Thanks Mel! I’m so happy to hopefully be back on the #gargleblaster (assuming it doesn’t close by 7am) 🙂
Back on? I was going to give it my first go. I’m about to publish my take on it. Does it really fill up by morning?
Haha – I haven’t been on in about a month. It changes week to week. Sometimes midday. You can never tell! But you can always hitchhike in the comments!
I’m so glad you’re on the grid. I loved this last night when I first read it and it’s still one of my two faves!
Thanks so much Mel! I really appreciate it 🙂
I could hear the coins hitting the bottom of that can. It is the sound of NYC as much as the honk of taxi cabs or sirens.
A heartbreaking take on signs.
Thank you for your thoughts Kir!
Wow! Great imagery, both visual and auditory. Nice job!
This is a sad, but beautifully crafted little gargleblaster. Fantastic take on “sign” prompt – good job 😉
Oh this was heartbreaking.. Great take on the prompt though.
How sad! Loved your take♥
Perfect, Arden. I loved this.
Thank you Genna!
I love your take on a sign here. Sadly, I am pretty used to tuning this sight out, but you brought it back for me.
You’re not the only one Marcy. Thanks for reading!
Powerful stuff. Nicely crafted piece!
This was written incredibly well. One of my favorites so far… And I admit I had to click your home page to see the picture. Very moving!
Thank you Jen!
ooh. i love the phrase ‘ my arms shadow my ribs against the cold.’ a great portrayal that instantly draws the reader to empathize with your character. well done.
Haunting, lonely, but beautiful. You paint a very clear picture. I like your use of the clinking sound to break up the lines.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your thoughts.
I love your use of repetition here…not only does the onomatopoeia trigger the sound, but the repetition of that sound also speaks to the story line so beautifully. Great job.
Quite moving, I like.
Thank you!! 🙂
You know that sound of the coin hitting the can? THAT! Yeah, you nailed it 🙂
Haha – Thank you!
I feel the cold and the hunger. I love your choice of simplicity here, too.
I love how you keep your vocabulary in line with your characters. And your take on the prompt is awesome.
I was instantly able to visualize this — such a great job setting the scene. I especially liked this line: The words fade; the ink is dry.
Beautiful and sad.
Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:
You are commenting using your WordPress.com account.
( Log Out /
You are commenting using your Google account.
( Log Out /
You are commenting using your Twitter account.
( Log Out /
You are commenting using your Facebook account.
( Log Out /
Connecting to %s
Notify me of new comments via email.
Notify me of new posts via email.
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Create a website or blog at WordPress.com