What Vegas Taught Me

I’m old.

Now,Β before you send the mob after me, please let me explain.

I’m really, truly old. I blame this discovery on Vegas.

I’d looked forward to this Vegas bash for months and it was finally upon us. My friends and I arrived at the airport around lunchtime and saddled up to the bar to toast to our good friend who would be turning the big 4-0 the next day. The drinks flowed through our first leg of the trip and into the second. I was six drinks deep by the time we actually touched down in Vegas (which just happened to be happy hour).

The party continued through the early evening as we waited on other friends to arrive to the big city. We gambled and ordered ‘free’ drinks like it was our only night in town. Dinner came around 9:00. I ordered a bottle of wine since that is what you do in Vegas. The bottle was empty by the time we left.

The first sign of my oldness came about around midnight. The birthday boy wanted to be in a club when the clock struck 12 for his birthday. We waited in line as the minutes passed and made it inside just under the hour. My best friends and I looked around, surveyed the situation, and then promptly turned around and left.

It was one of the most horrible places I’ve ever been. I couldn’t move. I could hear my heart vibrating through my chest. As a dancer, you probably assume that I enjoy the club scene and I thought I did; just not that particular club. I never wanted to see that place again.

Our brief stint in the club guided us back to the casino but I could already tell that my conscious time was limited. I stared into my red wine and calculated that I had been drinking for approximately 15 hours. I stared at my friends who still had fire dancing in their eyes as they poured their money into the flashy machines. Without a word, I backed away slowly and escaped to the solace of my hotel room.

I slept a blissful 6 hours before awakening refreshed and minus one hell of a hangover. My friends sad attempts at chastising me for my swift escape the prior eveningΒ fell on deaf ears. They could do Vegas their way. I would do it mine.

The next two nights ended up much the same way. My Vegas consisted of sitting by the pool and drinking Rum Runners one after the other until my skin was the color of a beautiful lobster. I would then switch to wine, eat dinner with friends, and go to bed at a respectable hour.

You see, when I say I’m old, there is no need to roll your eyes that far into your brain. I mean no insult. I like being old. Being old to me means not acting like a crazy 20-something. Being old to me means I didn’t come home married, I didn’t get arrested, and I didn’t make out with some weirdo at the club. Being old to me is not staying up until the crack of dawn only to lose half your day to a sleep-filled hangover.

Being old to me is awesome. I’ll be old in Vegas any day of the week.

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Awesomeness Awaits at Yeah Write!

42 Comments on “What Vegas Taught Me

  1. This is how I do Vegas: I don’t go.
    πŸ˜›

    I’ve been probably a dozen times over the course of my life. I’ve seen some good shows. I made some money at the poker tables. I’ve enjoyed my fair share of free drinks.
    But, I never have fun.
    The chaos. The smoke. The lights and sounds. The people… everywhere, endless. No thanks.

    • I definitely had fun but it was my kind of low-key fun. The perfumey oxygen they pump into there made me nauseous so I couldn’t even stay in the casino for too long. I’m still on the fence on whether I would go back or not. Been there, done that.

      • I’ve never understood the fascination people have with it that keeps them going back over and over again. There are always closer places to gamble if that’s what you are looking for. And closer shows that will be just as good and cost less. And closer resorts with pools and “cheap” drinks. And places where it isn’t 115 in the summer with 55mph winds blowing dirt that can shred the skin from your body…
        But, to each their own, I guess. πŸ˜›

  2. Why is Frank Sinatra, “My Way”, playing in the back of my mind? πŸ™‚ Vegas is crazy, but it can be fun if you know what you are doing (like you did). My sweetie and I might hit the town this fall, and will do it in much the same fashion as you.

    • Haha – I really had a great time. I just can’t do the party all day and night anymore. The birthday boy I went with was apparently up until 6 every night but he was up by 10. I don’t know how he did it!

  3. I definitely prefer your version. I did go as a twenty something, once. New Years Eve of all days. I got caught up in the oxygen pumped windowless casinos. There really AREN’T clocks in those places. Ohhhhh boy. I would have preferred the poolside rum runner/early ish to bed. Next time! The pics looks so relaxing!

    • It was quite surprised at how relaxing the trip was (for the most part). It is crazy how time works in those casinos. I could never tell you what part of day it was!

  4. How funny! I was in Vegas last week, and I too felt old and very, very sober, lol. However, as you say, POOL TIME IS AMAZING. I went to the gym, I ate pizza and gelato; really, it was better than the time I went in my twenties and danced at the nasty clubs and drank too much and…well, you get the picture. πŸ˜‰

    • That’s funny! We were at Luxor, the giant pyramid. Pool time was definitely my favorite. I don’t mind going to clubs but I’d rather it be on my own turf πŸ™‚

  5. I’m so with you on that. I just can’t stay up late anymore. My favorite part of Vegas is restaurants. And Cirque du Soleil. Otherwise, I don’t much like it.

    • Exactly! I would much rather have my ass in the sand with a drink in hand than sitting around in some smoky casino! πŸ™‚

  6. Several years ago, I went to Vegas with friends who have a few years on me. They went to renew their vows in a lesbian 70s themed wedding complete with a Cher impersonator. Even though my husband and I were the youngest ones there, we were always the first to call it a night. We also avoided hangovers that way.

    • When I turned 25, my hangovers turned on me. There is something about that age. If I have anything other than wine, I am down for the count the next day!

  7. The one time we went to Vegas (for a friend’s wedding), we had a 3-year-old and a 4-month-old in tow. I don’t recommend it. πŸ™‚ Though pool time was the best time for us as well!

  8. I am also old. But I’m pretty much ok with that. Mostly. Your way of doing Vegas sounds pretty smart. I’ve done the all night thing. And minus the hangover, when you go to bed at 6:00am, you sleep half of the next day, thus wasting most of the day. Although, that is an impressive amount of booze you consumed without hangover. Bravo.

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