Baby Shower Woes

I’m trying very hard to not sweat the small stuff in this new year.  My old boss used to have a post-it note stuck to his computer that said just that and I decided to do the same.

I’m trying real hard, but the universe is really testing me these days.  Just today, I walked into work, booted up my computer, and immediately checked my email.  The first thing I see is an email from one co-worker to another volunteering my services to plan a baby shower for my boss.

First of all, no.  I don’t do babies.  I don’t do baby showers.  More specifically, I don’t plan baby showers for people I barely know, ESPECIALLY when I already attended a baby shower for said unborn fetus back in November and spent a small fortune on a fucking light-up whale.  Second of all, and more importantly, don’t you dare volunteer my services for anything, let alone planning a shower.  Period.  Amen.

Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about it.  I can’t say no.  Here is how that conversation would go:

Me: I don’t want to plan the baby shower.  I don’t do baby showers.

Everyone else: You are the spawn of Satan who hates babies and wishes all unicorns would die.

I was screwed.  I had to help.  Immediately upon reading the email, I performed the next logical step and complained about it on Facebook.  I then stewed in my angry juices for a few minutes about how right I was.  HOW DARE THAT WOMAN VOLUNTEER ME?  She isn’t the boss of me.  I am right.  I am always right.

Said woman came over a few minutes later to help me plan.  How nice of her, right?  The coldness emanating from my bones must have been fairly obvious as she immediately asked if I was okay.

Did I mention how much I hate being asked that?

I did my best impression of a snarly teenager.  “I’m fine,” I shot back at her.  I mumbled something about lack of sleep so she would move on and she seemed to get the point.

By the end of the meeting, I was considering jumping out of my three story window when I suddenly looked down at my list of things to do and stared.  There was only one thing.

Call Costco for deli platters.

That was it.  I had just been a mega bitch to a poor old woman who had only asked me to call and ask about food for a baby shower for my own fucking boss.  What the hell was wrong with me?

I told myself it was okay.  I was exhausted and cranky.  Everyone has their bad days.

Then I saw that damn post-it note on my computer screen.

Shit.  While I still believe that being volunteered for anything without your knowledge is a load of bullshit, I could have not been an über bitch about it.  I could have smiled politely through all of it and explained that I couldn’t give any more money for a gift since I’d already bought one earlier.  I could have done my duties and been done with all of it in just a couple of weeks.  It could have not been a big deal.  But I made it one.  Because I sweat the small stuff.

I think I need more post-its.

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Awesomesauce Awaits at Yeah Write!

45 Comments on “Baby Shower Woes

  1. I tried going the Post-it route when I was trying to cut down on eating extra candy snacks. It sort of worked, but then I just started flipping off the Post-it while munching on my M&Ms.

  2. Don’t you just love being volun-told to do something. I HATE those awkward situations. & I am not a fan of baby showers either, even having had to go to one for my son- I totally dislike those types of things, they are awkward & people want to play weird games with chugging out of baby bottles & guessing which melted chocolates are in diapers… I mean really who came up with these things!?!?! Give me some money, give me some wine & let’s say we don’t do any of the other things.

    Ps- love your post its… I put them on my screen too & usually tell my past self to “F off”. 🙂

    • Hah! Someone else used volun-told today. I love that 🙂 Yeah, I don’t get the baby shower games. Luckily, most of my friends who have had kids skipped the game part.

      • I did too… my family could never do 2 things- play shower games or have a “dry” event! lol The one my coworkers threw had the games but that’s okay, I survived. Volun-told is the most commonly used word in a teacher’s vocabulary I think. haha

    • I know. The woman is so nice but this is not the first time it has happened. I am very conflicted on how to behave about it!

  3. Volun-told, I love that. Not being in that scenario, but the term itself.

    I think it is well established here that I will contribute plastic forks or a small amount of money toward whatever; that makes me the weird one in the group but that is OK.

    • I’m totally okay with contributing some moolah for a group gift. I just already spent a ton of moolah since I was invited to the first shower she had. This lady knew that too. I’m almost over it 🙂

  4. Me confused? Why is the boss person getting a second baby shower? If you already did one, gift and all, why is a second one being thrown? I think on those grounds alone I would have opted out of this one. “Meh, sorry, already did one, but have fun!” Then again, I don’t have to work with these people so my comments may be a bit skewed.

    • The first one I went to was like the big shower. It wasn’t work related. I was very surprised to be invited to it. It’s still annoying though 🙂

      • We did one shower for the Little Prince. I didn’t have one for family, one for friends, one for the neighbors, one for the local bake shop, and one for coworkers… that seems greedy.

  5. I don’t do babies or showers and I wouldn’t even care if they thought of me as spawn of satan, unicorn hater. I’ll mail you a card with a check, but I ain’t going to your damn party and I’m certainly not planning it.

  6. Post-its totally work on me. Some of the time. I am not a fan of showers, but if I were to plan one, I’d EITHER order platters from Costco OR get a caterer friend to do the whole thing. And cocktails.

    • I think I would maybe enjoy it more if it wasn’t a work shower. This means no booze and an extremely limited budget. It’s gonna be a blast!

  7. Ugh, how awful. I would have been pissed! I don’t mind baby showers (though I’ve never been to one with those terrible games) but I definitely do mind being volunteered for something. I get sucked into work things like this all the time because there are only 9 of us and it’s virtually impossible to say no to anything.

    • I’m still pretty annoyed. This isn’t the first time this woman has done something like this. I refuse to do the games though! They’re terrible!

  8. So well done. I actually can’t stand baby showers, either. We did a virtual book shower for my sister recently, and everyone just mailed her a children’s book. Bam! Done.

  9. I feel you on this. Totally. I’m hosting a baby shower for a friend this Saturday. I love her and babies and all unicorns but it’s still stressful and I’d kill anyone if they ever volunteered me. That’s just wrong.

    • Haha! It is stressful and I honestly wouldn’t mind doing it for someone I really care about but I hardly know the woman!

  10. Volunteering someone else is messed up.

    Also…I didn’t even want my own baby shower. I just wanted the cupcakes.

    I totally sweat the small stuff. Please pass me some post-its.

  11. It’s one thing to ask you for help but another to volunteer you without your knowledge. Not cool! But you’re right, it’s also good not to sweat the small stuff.

  12. Ha, I don’t know how I would have felt if I were volunteered for something that’s supposed to be done out of the goodness of your heart! I have only thrown baby showers for my sister in laws and I use them as opportunities to make magical things happen– like, I threw a “Middle Earth” baby shower a year and a half ago for my impending niece and we ate hobbit food and everything was all woodsy and magical and I geeked out over it all in a big way. But yeah, it wouldn’t have worked out if I hadn’t wanted to do it in the first place!

  13. I think your reaction was normal and you had every right to be upset; glad it turned out to be a smaller inconvenience than you originally thought. This was a fun read! 😀

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