She lays on the floor, wailing like a two year old who’s had her favorite toy taken away.
His words repeat over and over through her mind.
“I don’t think I could ever love you.”
“I think we should just be friends.”
She screamed after him as he walked out of her bedroom, leaving her alone and afraid. She felt embarrassed but couldn’t stop the sobs from coming as tears exploded from her eyes.
She texted him over and over, grateful for his responses even though they were never what she hoped they would be.
“I made a mistake.”
“I do love you.”
“Can I come back?”
She woke up the next morning with tears already streaming down her face, unable to recall when she had climbed into bed. Against her better judgment, she dragged herself to class. Her professor took pity, passing over her during a group session, never asking about the tears that silently ran down her cheeks. Her friend held her hand, never asking what was wrong, silently understanding that nothing was to be said.
She tried calling into work, cursing herself for getting the job in the first place. There was no one to cover and she cried the whole way to the shop, entering with puffy eyes and a bruised ego. Her manager looked at her and immediately apologized, knowing the new girl wasn’t sick as she had originally claimed.
The days went by in a blur. Her friends attempted to console, not knowing what to say. His responses to her texts came less frequently and she understood he was trying to distance himself; attempting to let her go.
She wasn’t ready.
Her heart felt cracked; broken in a way she had never felt before. She had once thought she was in love in high school, but upon meeting him, knew at once that it had been nothing of the sort. Now, she was left alone, a shell of her former self. Everyone told her it would get better. It did, in a way, but she would never be the same.
A phone call from him six months later would make her still-cracked heart stop mid-beat. The realization of a misdial would make her retreat back behind her walls. A chance encounter would send her into a panic, never knowing what to say, as if she was back on their first date.
Eventually, her heart would heal, although there would always be a black spot to remember the moment it had almost shattered into a million pieces. Eventually, her heart would be given over to a new boy, a boy who knew how to treat it with love and respect. Eventually, she would stop thinking of the boy who walked out of her life in an instant after she had given him everything she had.
Eventually, she would let him go.
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