I look at myself and I can’t decide if I’m a success or a failure.
From the outside looking in, most people would probably think my life has been a success thus far. I have a good job, an amazing family and a man who loves me. I’m a dancer in a popular company. I have a close group of friends who are nice, supportive and fun to be around.
Quite a life, right?
When I look at my life, I see all these things and know that I am a happy person and am content with my life. Sometimes, though, I think of all the things I had thought of doing but never did.
I went to college as a biology major with the intent of going to medical school. It didn’t happen.
I then became a political science major with the hopes of going to law school after graduation. It didn’t happen.
I haven’t traveled. I’ve never lived outside of South Carolina. I’m not married. I have no children.
I stare at the GMAT preparation book that has sat unopened on my kitchen table for four months. I know it won’t be opened today or the next day.
While some of the above may not be considered failures, they are still ideas that I had thought would happen by this point in my life. I can give no reason why the majority of them haven’t happened. Perhaps I thought Biology was too hard? I don’t make enough money to travel enough? I love Charleston so why would I move?
They seem like good excuses, don’t they? But that is all they are. Excuses. I’m full of them.
I try to say I wasn’t meant to be a doctor. The hours are terrible. I like to think that I remembered my Dad not being home enough before he retired and that is why I changed my path. I didn’t make it to law school but ended up in the same field. While being a paralegal is a fine job and I do enjoy it, I really didn’t expect to be someone’s workhorse for the rest of my working life. And while I may be ready for marriage, I’m certainly not ready for kids.
I have a fine life so why am I so restless?
Perhaps it is just a phase. Perhaps I need a change. Do I go back to school? Do we move? Is that what I need or am I just looking for a way to tide me over until the restlessness returns? How do I even know where I am supposed to be?
Are you happy but restless? Do you think you need a change?
Do you think it would even help?
Come meet some new friends!
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