“Time is what we want most, but… what we use worst.” ~William Penn

I should be in nothing but utter heaven right now.  I’m spending a week in the beautiful Sammamish, Washington with my mom, my sister, my two nieces and my brother-in-law.  I haven’t seen my nieces in over a year; my brother-in-law in over three.  It is amazing, yet depressing, how time can fly by.

I should be nothing but happy.  I am to a point, but I am also sad.  The changes in my nieces are drastic and startling.  How can they change so much in such a short period of time?  They have gone from barely speaking, shy little girls to bursting balls of energy who never stop talking and always want to play.  It amazes me how much their individual personalities are shining through, each one unique and wonderful in its own way.

I’ve had this same feeling before.  It hasn’t been on any of my birthdays, friend’s weddings or the births of my friend’s children.  Those never seem to bother me.  They never seem to make me think of my age.  It was when my little cousin got his driver’s license.  That was a devastating moment.  I had held him when he was born and babysat him and his brother when they were toddlers.  How was he driving already?  The next thing I knew, he’d be going off to college and getting drunk and married (hopefully not at the same time).

I’m excited to see these changes.  I can relate a lot more to a toddler rather than a blob that just lies on the couch and sleeps (can you tell I don’t have children?).  But seeing them grow up so fast is solely a constant reminder of how quickly life can pass us by.  Hell, 2013 is already a third of the way over and yet I remember popping bottles on New Year’s Eve as if it were yesterday.  Days keep passing me by and I feel as if I have nothing to show for them.  I want to start appreciating my days more.  I don’t want to waste any either.  I have spent too many days wasting away on the couch on a beautiful day.  Too many times have I canceled plans just for being tired when I could easily have bucked up to face the day.

I want to spend more time with my family and friends, the people who I care about the most, the ones who matter.  I have let years pass before seeing someone I care about.  While I don’t want this to happen again, I know that I won’t always keep this promise.  I know that there will easily be times where years will pass before seeing someone I love.  There is always something hiding in the wings, waiting to get in the way of your life, whether it be work, work, or more work.  I love my job but I need to stop worrying about taking time off and just do it.  My job will always be there when I get back.

I don’t want to miss out on milestones and I shouldn’t have to.  Otherwise, before I know it, it will be my nieces getting driver’s licenses and you can find me in the looney bin.

combine_imagesClaire

2 years old — — 6 years old

combine_imagesEmily

1 year old — — 3 years old

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39 Comments on ““Time is what we want most, but… what we use worst.” ~William Penn

  1. Holy crap, a post without any ecards??? Alicia made up for your slacking, I guess…lol.

    Those babies change drastically every week at that age! You miss out on a lot by living all the way across the country, I’m sure. I have a cousin who just graduated college and moved to Chicago. I remember when he was a little guy and I used to bring him to the mall because I heard toddlers were chick magnets. It never worked, but we had fun together. Now he’s a grown ass man. I feel your pain.

  2. Ugh I struggle with the same thing as my nieces and God Daughters grow up so far away from me. I wouldn’t trade any of the opportunities that have taken me so far, but it makes me sad to think about how spread out my friends and family have become.

    • It is so difficult, especially at this age. I don’t expect it to get easier, of course, but the changes in their physical appearance as well as their personalities are astounding at this age!

  3. I totally understand! My little sister, who is 11 years younger than I am, is in college. College! I remember her birth, lol.

    • Thanks for the service! It’s hard being away but it really makes you appreciate the time with them!

  4. Yup. Face time makes it a bit easier to see my parents, sister, brother in law, and nephews. But they’re busy. So it is tough. The kids grow at a ridiculous rate.

  5. Oh they are such adorable little girls! Ever since I went to the expat status I get to go home only once a year. And when I saw my little brother this year it was as if he was a different person. Probably that’s his age but I regret it very much when I miss all these milestones like his 18th birthday and my parents’ 25th. I mirror every sentiment in your post and loved every bit of it. 🙂

    • Thank you so much! As they get older, I imagine their physical appearance doesn’t change as much, but the growth of their personalities into adulthood will be startling. That’s what I’m going through with my cousins right now! Scary stuff! 🙂

  6. Oh, such cuties!

    My father lives in another state and, right now, each time he visits my kids they are completely different people — especially the twins, who turned 2 last month. Kids grow and change far too fast for my liking…

    • Agreed … Especially at such a young age, the changes are amazing! My youngest niece is a completely different person and it’s only been a year!!

    • Aren’t they adorable? 🙂 Time does seem to be going at warp speed lately. Wish I knew how to stop it. Luckily, my vacation has gone by surprisingly slow!!

    • You always want to do better and it’s not for lack of want. Unfortunately, unless I win the lottery, the once a year visits are the best I can hope for!!

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